I'm eating all of the evidence.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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