Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
