But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
