Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.

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  (215): i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are. http://tfl.nu/vh2p
  Replies (85) Good night (1127) Bad night (6451)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

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  (415): I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first? http://tfl.nu/brke
  Replies (9) Good night (4886) Bad night (501)
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  (831): View more from California

  I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.

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  (831): I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer. http://tfl.nu/gejp
  Replies (18) Good night (2740) Bad night (2017)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other

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  (306): They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle (1-306): Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other http://tfl.nu/7xcc
  Replies (9) Good night (5338) Bad night (931)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow

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  (402): I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow http://tfl.nu/h8bi
  Replies (10) Good night (1670) Bad night (4175)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."

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  (907): She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in." http://tfl.nu/4iy3
  Replies (24) Good night (5130) Bad night (1067)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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  (360): Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day http://tfl.nu/ru8t
  Replies (30) Good night (1811) Bad night (4630)
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  (916): View more from California

  It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.

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  (916): It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness. http://tfl.nu/trjv
  Replies (4) Good night (2209) Bad night (686)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.

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  (502): Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit. http://tfl.nu/13ky
  Replies (9) Good night (2437) Bad night (931)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does

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  (239): Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does http://tfl.nu/6lq0
  Replies (6) Good night (2252) Bad night (829)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?

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  (832): Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones? http://tfl.nu/bhpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2297) Bad night (941)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.

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  (314): He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real. http://tfl.nu/dekt
  Replies (3) Good night (1524) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.

  (415): View more from California

  No.

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  (920): Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay. (415): No. http://tfl.nu/olk0
  Replies (8) Good night (1974) Bad night (605)
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  (650): View more from California

  I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.

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  (650): I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever. http://tfl.nu/x84m
  Replies (15) Good night (2575) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?

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  (740): Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom? http://tfl.nu/p5et
  Replies (9) Good night (1288) Bad night (695)

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