Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings

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  (724): dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings http://tfl.nu/fi5x
  Replies (11) Good night (987) Bad night (4637)
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  (916): View more from California

  How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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  (916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids. (1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/28ax
  Replies (27) Good night (4028) Bad night (1180)
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  (818): View more from California

  question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?

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  (818): question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all? http://tfl.nu/n95r
  Replies (6) Good night (3484) Bad night (998)
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  (315): View more from New York

  thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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  (315): thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often. http://tfl.nu/bjyl
  Replies (25) Good night (3466) Bad night (2206)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.

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  (931): I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex. http://tfl.nu/p3z3
  Replies (20) Good night (1642) Bad night (4581)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.

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  (484): They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again. http://tfl.nu/d9r7
  Replies (10) Good night (1292) Bad night (4215)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?

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  (734): Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold? http://tfl.nu/ybs2
  Replies (7) Good night (3125) Bad night (786)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night

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  (719): Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night http://tfl.nu/la5y
  Replies (6) Good night (1492) Bad night (618)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.

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  (219): Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though. http://tfl.nu/18ka
  Replies (2) Good night (1015) Bad night (730)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him

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  (514): please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him http://tfl.nu/t57p
  Replies (5) Good night (1011) Bad night (645)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.

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  (920): We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing. http://tfl.nu/xflx
  Replies (6) Good night (1050) Bad night (405)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs

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  (410): True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs http://tfl.nu/odrq
  Replies (2) Good night (660) Bad night (965)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"

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  (604): Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money" http://tfl.nu/398x
  Replies (3) Good night (622) Bad night (274)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  He meets the coolest people when he's drunk

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  (316): Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget (1-316): He meets the coolest people when he's drunk http://tfl.nu/0j8z
  Replies (1) Good night (916) Bad night (616)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.

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  (918): Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have. http://tfl.nu/nuc7
  Replies (0) Good night (167) Bad night (360)

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