apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
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he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
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SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need water and some morals
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.