Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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