dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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