doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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