theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
