guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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