If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
