we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dicks are not precious.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
