Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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