so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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