i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
