whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
