At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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