I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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