Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
