There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
a search helicopter?!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
