I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
