Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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