jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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