I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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