your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
