The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
