Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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