i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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