I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
