Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
