thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Randomize
