So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
