Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
