omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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