i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize