when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
