it was like eating out sand paper
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
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Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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