yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize