i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
