see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
