i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
