i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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