she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
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So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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