You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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