No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
