The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
only you would photoshop your dick
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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