So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
