i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i came on her dog
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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