i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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