sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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