Already got asked if we're dating
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
