in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize