He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The Olympian is in my bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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