Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
there was a trapeze. enough said
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
