he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
