new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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