found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
