Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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