My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
