some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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